Is The Grass Always Greener?

Obviously, I am still working, however the scope of my job is very limited and I am no doubt a full time mom. Prior to children, my life was Saint; traveling 6 months out of each year, designing, managing, dealing with production issues, marketing, etc... Now my job description is almost exclusively limited to designing at night and during nap times and an occasional P.A. (personal appearance).

Everyone is different when it comes to travel for work. It has its pros and cons. I remember standing in a store promoting and selling my line on December 24th, howling dog tired and from out of no where huge whale tears formed in the corners of my eyes. I was maxed. A sales associate approached me and asked if I was "okay?" We all know when this happens it usually gets worse - not better. She asked what was wrong and I was so embarrassed. I started laughing and said "I am just soooo tired. I am really ready for the season to end."

Saint is a true passion for me but even passions can get the best of you.

Here I am today with a very limited amount of time to dedicate to Saint and unlimited time to family. Some days I yearn to be sitting on a packed airplane where they don't allow you to connect with the ground while airborne. I fantasize about two night stays in a high end chain hotel next to that cities shopping center of choice. I recall the end of the work day mode that encompasses aching, burning feet, people weary brain cells and aaaahhhh the quiet room, clorox white sheets, king size bed, commercial grade carpeting, t.v. and a room service menu. All alone, far away, quiet...and utterly lonely, disconnected and down right miserable at times!

I suppose I have a real love/hate relationship with my old job description. I met some wonderful people and enjoyed delicious restaurants, new cities and I did really enjoy being the spokesperson for my collection. It wasn't all bad! I guess it's complicated...or I am complicated!

Last Saturday I spent the day locally at the Scottsdale Neiman Marcus for a trunk show. It was a wonderful day. I met some wonderful new people and clients as well as some from the past. It was fun to reconnect with the sales associates and basically have a good time. I drove home thinking "What a nice day. However, I am sure excited to get home to my little family!" Upon walking through the door I was greeted with a floor of vomit, sink of dishes, the sprinkler system going berserk in the back yard and no family.

Hmmmm...

Alas, everyone was back in our master bathroom, kids splashing in the tub and Art saying "Oh SJ! What a day!" Right at that moment my mind went to 'quiet room, clorox white sheets, king size bed, commercial grade carpeting, t.v., and a room service menu! All alone, far away, quiet..." :)